Celebrating 100 Years of Life

My mother-in-law just turned 100! You may have read about her, Helen Nichols, in last week’s Healdsburg Tribune. I write this just after the big party: what a time it was! Both the party and the 100 years.

In the room full of people (whom had gathered from as far away as Scotland), everyone but one person knew what a remarkable woman they were celebrating. That one person who didn’t know was Helen. She is shy, humble and unassuming; she simply can’t see why others would admire her.

I find it interesting: we are a culture that values action, and yet there is something so refreshing about a person like Helen who is quiet and has that deep, still kind of energy.  She does more listening than talking. She is truly interested in what you think, where you’ve been, what you’ve seen; which makes her really fun to talk to.

She doesn’t talk a lot about herself, but if you work just a little at it, you can tease stories of the past from her. She grew up on a farm, and it is really striking as you listen to her, how much she cherishes those memories. She describes her father as gentle and affectionate, her mother as capable.  She and her four siblings especially enjoyed it when their parents sang together.

We sang some of those old songs at Helen’s party: Bicycle Built For Two, Man on the Flying Trapeze, Home on the Range . . .  but I digress, I wanted to tell you about those qualities that are so subtle and yet so valuable.

My husband Bill (the youngest of her four children) summed it up beautifully in his apple-cider-toast:  Helen has an elegant simplicity that many of us admire. “It’s that ability to see the mountains looming and hear the birds sing as you walk down the road, and to be content and happy with just that.” Her needs are very simple, there is little that she wants. She is at peace her life, and that is wonderful to be around.

Being satisfied with what she has is very different than being passive. Helen knows her mind and is clear about the choices she makes. I’ve often returned clothes for her: if it is not exactly what she wants, she doesn’t want it. There is no clutter in her small apartment, everything that surrounds her either has a purpose or brings her pleasure. The rest goes.

Helen has few expectations. She doesn’t push or strive. She allows things to unfold as they will, doesn’t attempt to alter or control the course of events, and is capable of fully enjoying whatever shows up. That alone is worth the price of admission! If only I could learn to be a little more like that. I know I create most of my own stress when I try to organize the world around me just how I want it; an approach that is completely foreign to Helen.

It is not that she doesn’t have stress. She has faced many difficulties in those 100 years, including a heart attack in her 70’s. Cash has always been short – but she lives within her means and thrives. She has regrets, there are things she wished were different, and yet her stress level seems relatively low. I think it’s partly because she accepts what comes her way, and partly because she doesn’t try to take on more than she can handle. I suspect this acceptance of “what is” plays a big role in her longevity and health.

Moderation is another big contributor to Helen’s long life. She walked most of her life and has always done simple exercises to keep fit. She cooks healthy meals for herself, primarily real food, and eats moderate portions. She lives independently and even cooks dinner for us every once in awhile. It’s remarkable. Even when she smoked, she was moderate and only had a few puffs at a time.

When Healdsburg Tribune reporter Lynda Hopkins interviewed Helen, she came away speaking of Helen’s presence. The dictionary defines presence as having distinguished bearing, stately carriage – it is that felt sense of being with someone that makes an impact on you. Yup! That’s our Helen! Happy 100 years Helen!

Kathy Nichols is the Healthy Habits Coach. Kathy blends her background as a registered dietitian with life coaching to help you create healthy and sustainable habits. Contact Kathy at 707 431-7524, Kathy@HealthyHabitsCoach.com or www.HealthyHabitsCoach.com. Blog: www.HealthyHabitsCoach.wordpress.com