A Fresh Look at Mindfulness

I have recently returned from a week-long meditation retreat in the mountains of New Mexico. In this near-silent retreat, life slowed down and I got the chance to observe myself and my habits with increased clarity. Here are my insights. Keep in mind that in a retreat we often experience what we already “know” in a fresh and intimate way.

My teacher, Joan Sutherland, defined mindfulness as letting things speak for themselves, without interrupting. What a great image! I have to work at this. I tend to be busy, always rushing onward to the next thing. I have lots of ideas about how things should look, how I should respond, what should happen next. When I’m rushing and full of these ideas, I’m interrupting – not seeing things as they actually are. When I can put my opinions on pause, and just pay attention, then I can let things speak for themselves.

Part of my practice during the retreat was to just notice my own thought patterns. I had more judgments than I like to think I do, and I followed them with an admonishment to myself: I shouldn’t be thinking that! As I noticed, I just acknowledge that series of thoughts and let them go. I tried to do it with kindness and an open mind. It was just mental chatter; I didn’t have to get hooked into it. Just that simple practice made my life feel bigger.

Eating during retreat brought some interesting observations.  One day we had watermelon for desert. I had a piece – it was very sweet and juicy – and my immediate response was to want more. I found that curious since I had just finished my meal and wasn’t hungry. I wanted more just because it was good and I liked it. It was an automatic response; something I do with many things. If I like it, I want more.

Just by noticing – by allowing the experience to arise without pushing it away because it was “bad” – I saw this impulse more clearly than I ever had before. Even as I recognized it, the impulse faded. I no longer felt the urge for more. What I’d had was enough. I’d enjoyed it, and that was enough. I was able to watch the impulse of wanting more rise and fall, without needing to do anything about it.

Another eating observation was how often I swallowed my food before I had finished chewing it. As soon as I put a forkful of food in my mouth, I was loading the fork for the next bite. As the new forkful arrived, I’d swallow to make room. I was letting my hand and fork run the speed of eating instead of the time it actually took to chew the food. As I noticed this, I tried reversing the pattern: chewing until done and then loading my fork for the next bite.

What particularly struck me was how challenging it is to practice mindful eating. I teach it, I work with it – and I thought I generally practiced it myself. But here I was, in a silent retreat with nothing else to do but pay attention, and it was still challenging! The best I could do was to pay attention and slow down some of the time. It was a good reminder to do what I can, and to let that be enough. It doesn’t have to be perfect. I don’t have to change everything instantly; I just need to attend to it.

If the idea of a retreat appeals to you, there are lots of opportunities. I work with Joan Sutherland, an American Zen roshi (www.AwakenedLife.org). There are many local groups that sit regularly and offer retreats. The important point is that we can change our lives by the simple act of paying attention. When opinions and judgments arise, don’t assume they must be true: remember that thoughts, impulses and ideas come and go. Allow them to float through your mind, like clouds, and disappear.

Kathy Nichols is the Healthy Habits Coach. Kathy blends her background as a registered dietitian with life coaching to help you create healthy and sustainable habits. Contact Kathy at 707 431-7524, Kathy@HealthyHabitsCoach.com or www.HealthyHabitsCoach.com. Blog: www.HealthyHabitsCoach.wordpress.com